Your side, my side…

There will always be disagreements, small and large. How we deal with it is each persons individual choice, you can either close yourself off to all possible options and choose to see your point of view as the gods honest truth or you can choose to be open to the possibility that the infallible you might be wrong. 

In the first instance you make the choice to not debate but argue, never will you come in ahead. If you are unwilling or maybe its unable to put emotions aside and look at the dispute in front of you you will never learn anything new. The person you are disagreeing with will then either except that your mind can not be changed and agree with you simply to end the discussion or they will stick to their guns regardless and the argument will never end. 

In the second instance you make the choice to debate instead of argue. Each side gets to make their point and each side is respected for their opinion even if you wholeheartedly disagree you still value each other. When a disagreement takes place in this manner one will consent to the other, will admit that they might be wrong or they will both agree to disagree.

I’m a calm sort of person, you really need to push all my buttons before you will see me loose my cool, let alone shout. I don’t understand adults shouting at each other, when did it become OK to treat another human being like you would an unmanageable dog. No one not even my parents shout at me, and the only time I lift my voice to a high enough pitch to be considered shouting is when I’m too lazy to climb the stairs and need to impart invaluable knowledge to my son upstairs (or I need a glass of something cold and i’m in the bath).

Now as a rule when people around me start shouting I drop my voice lower and lower until they have no choice but to stop raising theirs if they have any hope of hearing me… this tends to defuse the situation. But should this not work I simply stand up and leave. I know my worth, I know I’m better than a dog so why would I allow someone to scream at me. 

I have been in arguments and debates and will take a debate any day of the week. Yes if we all always agree life would be damn boring, Yes i will not always give in on my view point, Yes life isn’t always calm enough for rational thought. But even if I do not agree with you and I’m not willing to give in does not mean I can not find some value in your views or learn something from it (even if its just that you’re just plain stupid). 

The truth is life is not clean cut, and should not be… its how we deal with things that make us who we are!

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