Hearts desire…

I have always known I wanted to be a mother… in my minds eye I saw myself with 2 children running around and filling their lives with love and laughter.

It took 3 years for me to fall pregnant with Tris and I so very nearly lost him at birth that I feared falling pregnant again… 2 years after Tris’s birth we decided to try for a second child, our thinking was that should it take another 3 years to fall pregnant again the gap between siblings wont be to big.

Unfortunately I found myself on the road to divorce exactly 2 days later…

So the sibling was never to be and I made peace with that. I had my beautiful son, he was happy and healthy, well adjusted to the life we had and a ray of sun to anyone he met. I needed nothing more in life! Then I met the person I will be spending the rest of my life with… he took my son and became a father to him, a loving and supportive father (a thing I had never dreamed possible!) not only had he given his heart to me but to my(our) son as well.

I truly never thought our happiness could multiply to the extent it has…

Now its nagging at me again, that second bundle of joy… the addition to our perfect little family. I want another BABY! My heart burns for that joy of bringing a live into this world to assist that little bundle and guide them to be the best person they could possibly be… I want another BABY!

There are so many things jumbled in my head… With the type of work I do I have about a 4 month gap in a year where having a new born might be possible… My medical history means that I will need to be extra careful or my heart might give out… The betrayal by my body during Tris’s birth means that at least I know that I’m not designed to give birth and that the odds are high that I will never be able to carry full term, so we can take all the above into account…

But I really, truly, desperately want another baby!

Tris is getting older day by day and at this point all he wants is a baby brother (who he believes will be coming out of my womb fully mobile and talking his ears off).

Boy or girl (might need to get used to the idea of a girl) – this is my hearts desire…

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2 Responses to Hearts desire…

  1. Sasha says:

    Oh how I love to hear you found yourself with someone who treats you and your son with all the love you deserve!! I also hope your dream comes true!!!! I personally believe two kids is the very best, but I am probably biased. 😉

  2. I really believe our dreams will come true! Thank you 🙂

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