I have an issue with lying… I’m not perfect and I have been know to tell the occasional lie (mostly to protect someones feelings) But I do have an issue with lying in general.
So Tris and I are doing the dishes waiting for hubby to come home (the dishes weren’t washed the previous night as I was not feeling well and my two boys where playing Magic till bedtime. Tris made a face and asked why we must to it NOW so I told him that we had not done it the previous night and it needed doing.
I’m not sure what went on in his beautiful little head when he decided it was a good idea to lie to me… “I told Daddy we should do the dishes and he said no lets play another game!” Erm sure that’s what happened because what 8 year old would not volunteer to do the dishes?
Well if its thrown in your path create a life lesson… I continued doing the dishes and he (thinking he has gotten away with his little fib) continues to dry them and we talk about school and work and all the normality of life. When hubby came in and after we said our hellos I corner daddy-dear in front of Tris. I could see the color draining out of his face and realization dawning that he has been caught in his lie.
We had the following conversation:
Me: “What do you think happens when you tell a lie”
Tris: “I get punished”
Me: “Well yes but you also create a chain reaction”
Tris: Rather blankly looks at me
Me: “Ok lets put it this way, If I had not known you as well as I did, If I had believed what you had told me what do you think would have happened?”
Tris: “I don’t know”
Me: “I would have been mad at daddy, I would have argued with him because he though it was OK to teach you to rather play games than do chores”
Tris: Starts looking sheepish
Me: “Do you understand what I’m saying… when you lie you effect the person you are lying to and the person you are lying about… the person you are lying to will either believe you or wont and if they believe you it will mean they no longer believe the person you are lying about but sadder still is if they do not believe you they will no longer trust you. The person you are lying about will feel you have betrayed them by lying and if the person being lied too believed the lie they will argue and arguments can be very nasty.”
By this point I can see the tears are close to the surface… so we leave it there.
It might be a sad truth that all children lie at some point, it does not need to be the end of the world, use it as a tool. My explanation was a mouth full and half of it probably didn’t sink in… I’m also realistic enough to know that there WILL be repeat performances of this conversation through out his life. But if at least half of it sank in, if he will think twice about the consequence of even a small lie, I see this as a lesson well learnt.
We hugged it out, and continued the evening as any other…