We have a first time pregnant faerie in our office… now my boss’ wife (Lin) had her first child in Jan of this year.
So after finding out the good news Lin with great enjoyment told the horror of her birth story, just as I had done with her when she found out about her little bundle.
She cornered me in the kitchen afterwards smiling from ear to ear “Finally I can do to someone ells what you did to me!”
I giggled and though afterwards how true it is. We mommies find some sort of sick satisfaction in scaring the heebeejeebeez out of expectant mother. Now be honest its FUN. Painting the picture of the birth of your own bundle of joy tends to make their eyes extend and the color drain from their faces (come on! no birth experience includes angels singing in the rafters and unicorns whispering in your ear what a fantastic job your doing lightly pushing out this miracle little human into the world who will automatically know how to latch on and wont scream at the top of their lungs at the injustice of being removed from their cozy cocoon)
In reality your first child’s birth-story includes blood guts and gore… if you had a natural birth you basically felt like you where trying push a watermelon through a keyhole! If you had a c-section you where torn open end to end by a manically laughing Frankenstein! Heaven forbid you needed a emergency c-section! (this is my story)
I went into labor, my water didn’t brake I had NO clue what was happening. I felt pains running up my spine and an urge to stay on the loo. This was the Saturday (which I spent first at work and then running around in stores looking for maternity bra’s) Sunday morning I called the medical-aid help line who very helpfully told me that my boy is only engaging and that daddy should rub my back when the pain starts again.
The Sunday was spent visiting friends and my mother after which i told daddy to call the hospital and confirm what the help line had told us. He did and they didn’t, they asked me to come in just to check that all was in order… here we found out i was in full swing labor my contractions being less than 5 minutes apart! On hearing this news daddy sat behind me rubbing my back as per earlier instruction and promptly got smacked by the nurse. Apparently he had been stimulating the contractions allll day long.
Now I was about 8 weeks away from due date (6 weeks from the scheduled delivery date) so they needed to stop the labor ASAP. They hooked me up and kept me as calm as possible and started poking me with needles, by the following Wednesday Tris was starting to panic inside me, I was worn out as the contractions just kept rolling and I joy of joy’s had not dilated at all. The doc came in at 8:30 had a look at the readouts and called for the OR by 9 I had my eppie and by 9:15 Tris was born. I saw his little mushed up face for all of two seconds above the blue sheet and he was swept away to NICU, his left lung had collapsed and his heart was not beating right.
In shock they pushed me to my room, with an open wound they refused to let me into the NICU I was to wait 24 hours before I could see my son. All sorts of horrors went through my mind but nothing prepared me for the sock of seeing him for the second time, he had pipes coming out of… well everywhere! Feeding tubes and monitors… but under all that he was perfect ten little fingers ten little toes, and the most beautiful head of pitch black hair, it was love at first sight and that baby boy was mine, I was struck with complete and utter AWE.
…. That’s our story.
Now as to the reason for each mother sharing their horror stories with expectant mothers, it’s natural and it’s necessary. An expectant mother needs to mentally prepare herself for bringing a child into the world and armed with the knowledge we so freely give they aren’t under a false impression and should their birth go smoothly, they can sigh in relieve and should it not they will take strength in the knowledge that they are not alone!